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Let’s Talk Sexual Health

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Why do I keep getting soft during sex?

I keep losing my erection during sex. It is becoming to difficult to stay hard. This happens when I'm wearing a condom or trying to penetrate. Please help.

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I used to face the same issue and I was just 31. I had tried pills like tadalfil on my doctor's prescription because otherwise I was healthy and my testosterone was also normal. I then read about Dr Rishabh Bhola on reddit from a guy suffering from same. To give therapy a try, I consulted Dr Rishabh and trust me it was the best decision. He really understood my concerns and created a plan for me to follow. The plan mostly included exercises both mental and physical, masturbation methods, and intimacy workout for me and my partner. Overall in about 2 months, I recovered succesfuly.

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How do you cure porn induced erectile dysfunction?

I am sick and tired of facing ED during sex. During masturbation, everything seems to work fine but i have no drive for sex and I go soft during sex with my girlfriend.

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Hi Tushar,

I get what you’re going through. Honestly, a lot of men face the same issue but hardly talk about it. What you’re describing sounds like porn-induced erectile dysfunction. When you can perform fine while masturbating but lose arousal or go soft during sex, it usually means your brain has adapted to a very different kind of stimulation.


Porn trains your mind to expect instant excitement, constant novelty, and visual intensity. Real sex doesn’t give that kind of rush, so your brain struggles to stay aroused when it’s time to connect with a real partner. It’s not that your body can’t perform; it’s that your mind has learned to link arousal with fantasy rather than real intimacy.


The good thing is that this isn’t permanent. But recovery takes more than just quitting porn. You have to rewire how your body and brain respond to touch, emotion, and closeness. This is where working with a sex therapist really helps. A therapist doesn’t just tell you to stop watching porn, they help you understand your triggers, manage the anxiety that shows up in bed, and rebuild genuine desire.


It’s a process, but most guys who go through therapy say they start to enjoy sex again, feel more connected to their partner, and perform naturally without relying on mental images. You’ve already taken the first step by recognizing the problem, and that’s huge.


BOOK AN APPOINTMENT

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This post is from a suggested group

Rishabh Bhola
October 6, 2025 · updated the description of the group.

Welcome to the group – Let’s Talk Sexual Health!


This is a safe, supportive space where you can ask questions about sexual health and get honest, judgment-free answers from real people.

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